The Junior Bro carved his name in the GBF history books one more time on Sunday, accomplishing a feat heretofore unachieved in our annual picks competition — winning the Surfy Trophy for a record fifth consecutive year. In the end, it was not so much that he conquered another 18-week season, but that he did so in dominating fashion, notching his largest margin of victory since we began keeping records and the single largest rout since 2016.
It’s something we haven’t said much this season: the Senior Bro won the week. If you’ve kept up with Gehlke Bros Football through the years (and who hasn’t?) then you might be aware that Glenn has a reputation for strong finishes in the month of December — sort of like the dark horse that emerges from the pack in the home stretch. Finishing strong and winning the race are separate and unequal outcomes, however, and the thing is you have to sort of be in contention for it to make a difference. Glenn is not in contention or anywhere close to it in 2023.
There were no Christmas miracles in Week 16, unless you consider avoiding a 7-game sweep to be a miracle — which it sort of was, considering that the only split won by the Senior Bro was Monday night’s finale between the Ravens and the 49ers. It was sort of like that one hidden present on Christmas morning after all the other gifts have been unwrapped and you’re thinking to yourself, “That’s it?”
As the Junior Bro enjoys honeymoon bliss basking on the beaches of Fiji and trying his hand at scuba diving, meanwhile across the windswept seas to North American football fields the window of opportunity is rapidly closing for those who would dethrone him from his championship reign, and the only diving occurring in Week 15 was the competition’s place in the standings.
If the number 9 is considered to be auspicious in Vietnamese culture, then Sean probably considers himself the luckiest man alive. Coming off his multicultural wedding ceremony on Saturday (Dec. 9), the Junior Bro not only left bachelorhood behind, but dodged a potential setback on the road to another Surfy Trophy despite a disastrous 6-9 performance in Week 14. …Which can only be considered lucky if your competition turns in the same disastrous performance.
It is said that football is a game of inches — inches and seconds, with perhaps a wee bit of luck thrown in. Some days you have it and some you don’t. When you’re in the midst of a winning streak, as the Junior Bro finds himself lately, it might seem that all the lucky breaks go your way. And when you’re mired in a losing streak, the depths of which remain to be seen… well, it often feels like you’ll never win again.
Thanksgiving is an important date on the calendar not just as the beginning of the holidays, but also because it puts us two-thirds of the way through the football season. Yet while there was plenty of opportunity to swap pleasantries with family around the banquet table on Thursday afternoon, about the only things being split in Week 12 were pies and potatoes.
The roar of the crowd and the unrelenting rays of the afternoon sun kept the Gehlke Bros on the edge of their nosebleed seats at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara on Sunday as we were on hand to watch the 49ers defeat Baker Mayfield and the Buccaneers, 27-14. And while it may have been satisfying to see the home team win, it was another game several hours later and 1,200 miles away that would have an impact on the GBF standings.
It was the week of last-second, game-winning field goals — five of them, to be exact, which was a NawFuL record. That none of those games factored into the action for the Gehlke Bros during a bye-shortened Week 10 is something of a minor miracle, although there were other threes that did matter.
The clocks weren’t the only thing falling back on Sunday, as a return to Standard Time also found the Senior Bro losing ground in the Surfy standings for the first time in nearly a month.
The only thing scarier on Halloween weekend for the Gehlke Bros is yet another week with an even number of splits. That is because it is frightfully easy for a minor misstep to become a major misfortune in the standings in the event of anything other than a draw. We had two games on the line in Week 8, and they nearly became Glenn’s undoing on Sunday morning.
There was a moment on Sunday afternoon when Sean checked in on the scoreboard of the day’s early games and remarked, “Wow, I might not get a single game right.” It wasn’t quite that bad, but almost. It might not yet be Halloween, but there were some frightful upsets in Week 7, and enough tricks played on the Bros’ prognosticating prowess that winning anything had to be considered a treat.
Ending what had become one of the longest droughts to start a season, the Senior Bro in Week 6 rediscovered a bit of what has been missing from his prognosticating arsenal lately: a winning week. After slumping to a 6-game deficit last week through a combination of bad bets and bad luck, Glenn made enough right moves in a bye-shortened week to shake the monkey off his back and finally gain ground in the GBF standings. He still trails Sean by 4.
We’ve reached the “bye weeks” portion of the season when the NawFuL starts scheduling a week off for each of the league’s 32 teams. Between now and Dec. 11, when the bye weeks draw to a merciful close at the end of Week 14, only the Thanksgiving holiday weekend will offer a full 16-game lineup. But while the teams can look forward to a scheduled week off, there is no rest for the Gehlke Bros. — and certainly not for the Senior Bro, who can’t seem to catch a break barely a month into a season that is quickly unraveling.
There’s a reason that we pay attention each week to whether there is an even or odd number of splits. With an odd number, barring a tie, you are guaranteed that there will be some movement in the Surfy standings. With an even number, however, the only guarantees you have are either status quo or major chaos. Through four weeks of the 2023 GBF season, we have seen four consecutive even-split weeks… and a lot of chaos.
There are few things worse than losing a close game, unless it’s losing a close game that you were leading by a substantial margin. Huge blown leads have been the Senior Bro’s lot in back-to-back weeks of this young season that now has him looking up from a 4-game deficit in the GBF standings.
Week 2 might seem a bit early in the season for talk about having one’s back to the wall, but that is where the Senior Bro found himself on Monday night, with a split on the line and staring down the barrel of a potential 4-game deficit with a mere 32 games in the books.
The 2023 GBF season may only be a week old, but it already has an eerily familiar look to it. The Junior Bro launched his quest for a record fifth consecutive Surfy Trophy in fine fashion on Sunday, taking both of the splits that were up for grabs. It marks the eighth straight season that Sean has either led or tied the top of the standings after opening week.
History is about to be made. Either the Junior Bro will hoist the Surfy Trophy for a record fifth consecutive time this season or the Senior Bro will end a championship drought that extends back to 2019.
Those are the certainties as we enter the 2023 edition of Gehlke Bros. Football. Then there are the unknowns — such as whether Ben (aka King Chaos) can capture his first overall title since 2010. He came close last season, falling just a bit short of the goal in the final weekend.
We all wait to find out if the Jets are for real now that they have Aaron Rodgers at quarterback. We get to find out whether the Europeans can tolerate more American football being exported to their doorstep. We even have a GBF Day in the stands of Levi's Stadium during Week 11, when the Bucs come to town to face the 49ers. So much fun.
This year is special as it marks the 30th anniversary of the introduction of the Surfy Trophy — our beloved golden statuette presented to the winner of the annual picks title. Where will it travel next? Oakley or San Jose — the new home of the Junior Bro.
The answers to all these questions will unfold over the coming 18 weeks. Strap on your helmets and knee pads because you're in for some rock 'em, sock 'em football action in Gehlke Bros. Football 2023.
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